


I´d Like to Screw You (The Screwsong for Charles)

by The_Colonel



Series: The Circus Freaks [2]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Charles You Slut, Companion Piece, Double Drabble, Erik Is a Lion, Erik is a Sweetheart, M/M, References to the Beatles, Song Parody, Songfic, The Author Is a Cocktease, There will be Porn, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 03:18:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2716934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Colonel/pseuds/The_Colonel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a one-shot, although set in the same storyline as "The Lion Will Not Sleep Tonight". It may, or may not actually take place sometime during the unfolding of the longer fic´s plot. I´m not sure, yet. :)<br/>Obviously, it helps if you know the context, but it can be read as a standalone work.<br/>All you need to know is that Erik is a (were)lion, Charles is very angry with him and Raven decides to help.<br/>Oh, and yes, I took a liberty with one of The Beatles songs ("I´m Looking Through You") and rewrote the lyrics The_Colonel style.<br/>I´m going to Hell for this...</p>
            </blockquote>





	I´d Like to Screw You (The Screwsong for Charles)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this.  
> Oh, maybe one. There will be porn in the second chapter. :)

For a while Charles thought that everything was going to be fine, if not exactly perfect. It all worked out so well in the end, all the pieces of the puzzle fitting together as well they should.

So it was probably only natural that Erik had to go and fuck it all up by mauling a guy (albeit a very, very nasty guy) to death in front of the kids.

At first, Charles was livid.

He screamed at Erik, threw a book at him (an antique tome on porcine genetics, extremely rare and surprisingly heavy), stomped his feet and balled his fists like a schoolboy throwing tantrums.

Then he went quiet and told Erik to leave him alone.

He wouldn´t let Erik come anywhere near his bedroom that night.

The thought of sharing the same bed with a man eating lion revolted Charles, or at least that´s what he told himself. The real reason was of course the fact that Erik broke his promise, the one he gave Charles in the very bed that Charles was now lying in. “No more killing, unless it is self-deffense.”

Days passed and Charles still refused Erik´s apologies, refused to let him back into their bedroom.

Erik didn´t say much during the days, didn´t really complain, but at nights… Oh, at nights…

Every night Erik would change into his lion self, sit under Charles´ window and pine. Loudly and annoyingly, as lions (and indeed all cats) will do. His heart-wringing [mating call ](http://youtu.be/clC8PUEGELs?t=25s)carried on for miles and miles.

Each night Raven, whose bedroom windows were right next to Charles´, practically begged her brother to do something about the situation, to take pity on Erik, to take him back.

“Look who´s suddenly full of concern?” Charles frowned at her one particularly loud night. “If you want to sleep, you can do so in one of the guest rooms. Plenty of space in this mansion, as I´m sure you´re well aware of. Goodnight.”

Raven shoved her foot between the doorframe and the door before Charles managed to shut it in her face. “Please, Charles, this is ridiculous. The kids are starting to make fun of you two. Only yesterday I caught Sean writing this stupid...”

“I don´t care!” Charles fumed, exhausted, annoyed, and very un-Charles-like in his anger. “He has to be taught a lesson. He has to know that he can´t just go around killing people. Not when he lives underneath my roof!”

“God, Charles, you act like such a selfish old fart sometimes!” Raven lost her temper at last. “This can´t go on forever. I want, no, I NEED to sleep, understand?! And if you don´t do anything about it soon, I will.”

“Go on. Be my guest!” Charles waved his hands in an exagerated gesture, shoved Raven  back into the corridor and closed the door.

“Right,” Raven remarked to herself. “That does it.”

Not a half hour passed, and a little group assembled itself outside of the house, right beneath Charles´s windows.

Erik, who was currently lying on a low hanging branch of an oak tree, poked his head out of the foliage hopefully. When he found out that none of those figures whispering in the dark were of the Charles kind, he let out another deep, sorrowful, heart-felt “arrrruaarrrgh”, and lay his heavy head back on his front paws.

Raven, who was in charge of the Occupy-Charles Committee, turned to Hank. “Ready?”

The tall young man adjusted the guitar that hung on a string around his neck, and nodded. “I think so.”

Moira started to bang the tambourine, Alex joined in with the maracas. Raven announced in a loud clear voice into the night: “This here is a make-up song, a mating call of a lonely lion, a [Screwsong](http://youtu.be/Mi5ODY-vIzI), if you like. This is for you, Charles, you big stupid dorkface. Hope you like it.”

Then Hank began to play, and Raven and Sean started to sing:

 

_I´d like to screw you, but you´re angry so_

_I thought I´d blow you, but you said no_

_We had a quarrel and I´m to blame_

_Still wanna screw you, if it´s all the same **  
**_

 

_Your hips unmoving, I cannot bear_

_Your trousers taunt me, those I shall tear_

_You still sound angry ´cause I killed that man_

_But I wanna screw you, if it´s the same **  
**_

 

_Why, tell me why, did you banish me out your sight?_

_Love, I don´t care, I´ll still stand underneath your window all the night **  
**_

 

_I´m thinking of you, of going all the way_

_You like to ride me, but not today_

_The inconvenience is you´re closed up there_

_I still wanna screw you, but you don´t care **  
**_

 

_Why, tell me why, did you banish me out your sight?_

_Love, I don´t care, I´ll still stand underneath your window all the night **  
**_

 

_Just dying to screw you, you´re angry so_

_Really wanna do you, but you said no_

_You say I´ve done wrong, that I should be ashamed_

_But I still wanna screw you, if it´s the same **  
**_

 

_Yeah_

_On baby let´s shag_

_Wanna screw you_

_Yeah I´m going to screw you_ **  
**

As soon as the song was over, the improvised mariachi band scattered itself into the darkness, leaving only a few last discordant guitar chords, and a distant echo of hysterical giggling behind.

Erik jumped of the tree, sauntered beneath the window that had been opened by Charles sometime during the song, and let out a small enquiring sound that embarrassingly sounded like a “miaow”.

“Come on up then, you silly bugger,” Charles´ voice came after a while.

He still sounded a little miffed, but Erik wasn´t going to complain. Oh no. He planned to fuck that last remaining sliver of annoyance right out of Charles´ system. **  
**

**Author's Note:**

> The whole video of the lion calling for his mate can be found here: http://youtu.be/clC8PUEGELs.  
> A lyric video to the lovely "I´m Looking Through You" by The Beatles (which I mutilated for this fic) can be found here: http://youtu.be/Mi5ODY-vIzI


End file.
